How Much Kids Need To Know About the Split

 Posted on September 13, 2013 in Family Law

Keeping kids sane during a divorce—especially one that's particularly nasty—can be one of the greatest challenges for divorcing couples. There's no shortage of psychological writings and evidence that points to the fact that divorce can be bad for children, though recent reports state that if the marriage was particularly difficult it may actually be better for kids that their parents divorce.

An article reported by Scientific American earlier this year stated that "researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experienced serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults." Scientific American cites a Pennsylvania State University study that followed children of divorce "into later childhood, adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships." The study found that children of divorced parents had similar results to those from intact families, "suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well."

That's good news for parents who are considering divorce—but there's still the question as to how to break the news to the kids and just how much information the kids should know. According to the Huffington Post, keeping the details of your split private—not allowing the children the details of your broken marriage—is likely much better for the kids and their future relationship with each parent. Knowing that their parents can't be together, and are no longer in love, is enough, clinical psychologist Edward D. Farber told the Huffington Post. "Your child has absolutely no need to know the reasons Mom and Dad don't love each other," he said.

A recent BBC article cited parents who did decide to share with their child the reason for their split, which sparked some controversy in the blogosphere. For some older kids, it may be more appropriate.

If you or someone you know is considering divorce, the most important first step is to contact a family law attorney. Don't go through it alone. Contact our offices today.