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Recent Blog Posts
Having a Happy Holiday Season after a Divorce
The first holidays following a divorce can be a very difficult time for everyone. Families are forced to deal with visitation schedules, vacation, gift-giving and other issues that they have never had to deal with before. If this is your first holiday season following a divorce, there are several things you should consider doing to make your holidays flow more smoothly.
Create a Holiday Schedule
If you did not create a holiday schedule in your divorce settlement or custody agreement, make one ahead of time. Discuss plans with your ex-spouse calmly and reasonably, and be willing to give a bit. Remember, it should be about making your children happy, and try to resolve things as easily as possible.
Unemployment and Divorce
There are many factors that contribute to divorce, and more and more studies are being released as of late that point to non-traditional reasons for marital dissolution. One such study, as reported by the Huffington Post, examines martial satisfaction and employment status. "The examination found that when men are not employed, it heightens the possibility of either the man or woman leaving the marriage." The study did not report similar findings if it was the wife that was unemployed or laid off instead of the husband. With effects of the Great Recession still rippling through American society, this study would indicate that many marriages have come to an end because of unemployment or job loss.
The unemployment rate, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, is dramatically higher today than it was a decade ago. In January 2003, for example, the unemployment rate was 5.8, a typical number for months that year. In 2013, on the other hand, the unemployment rate was 7.9. This was down from the height of the Great Recession, when the January 2010 unemployment rate clocked in at 9.8, nearly a ten-year high (the unemployment rate was the highest its been this decade in March and April of 2010, at 9.9 percent). According to the Census Bureau, however, the divorce rate actually declined from 1990 to 2009; from 4.7 per 1,000 people to 3.4. This was the most recent year for which this data was available.
Divorce and How it Affects Men's Health
Divorce is rarely described as easy. Despite the frequency of divorce, the impact of divorce is often significant. And it seems to be particularly difficult for men. An article in the Journal Of Men's Health, a peer-reviewed publication that addresses the disparity in life expectancy between men and women, discusses how divorce affects men's psychological, biological, social, and spiritual health.
Psychological Health
From a psychological and behavioral standpoint, unmarried men are more prone to depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Men who divorce have lower levels of happiness and self-acceptance. In fact, the article states that divorced or separated men are ten times more likely to undergo psychiatric care than married men.
Biological Health
Studies have found that married men live longer than unmarried men. The increased mortality rates in unmarried men are attributed to a wide variety of causes, including cardiovascular disease, hypertension, stroke, pneumonia and suicide. Married men have better health habits, better records of medical compliance, and more frequent monitoring of health status, all of which could positively affect mortality rates.
Reasons Why Married Couples Split
Marriage requires upkeep. Romance, intimacy, and communication are three things that can become more difficult as time passes. Issues and arguments will come up in every marriage. However, in some cases, you and your spouse may decide that divorce is the best option for you.
One cause of divorce is infidelity. The bonds of love and trust are often irrevocably damaged when cheating occurs. In Texas, if you choose to file a fault based divorce, infidelity can affect things such as property division and alimony during your divorce settlement.
Another possible cause of divorce is physical or emotional abuse. It can be harder to split from someone who exerts their power with cruelty. No one should excuse this kind of behavior and the abused spouse should seek to safely separate from the abusive spouse. An order of protection or a restraining order can be helpful in this situation.
Open Adoption Can Be Positive for Your Child Down the Road
Adding a child to your family is a very exciting prospect, but it is also a process that can feel confusing and emotionally overwhelming if it is your first time. One way to ease your anxiety is to work with a family lawyer experienced in adoption. This will give you more information about what to expect and how to structure the adoption in a way that is best for you and the child.
The Minnesota/Texas Adoption research project explored two waves of children who were adopted. In their first wave of research, the project creators found no relationship between adoption openness and self-esteem, but those results changed as time went on, possibly reflecting a greater trend about the desire for open adoption.
The first wave of research worked with adopted children between the ages of 4 and 12, and the second wave worked with children between 11 and 21 years old. For older adopted children, there is a positive aspect of having an open adoption: those teens who had birth mother contact were the most satisfied of all research groups with their level of birth parent contact overall. Most of the adolescents wanted more contract with their birth parents in the future, too.
Can Social Media Be Useful During a Divorce?
It's not uncommon to hear things about social media causing damage to a marriage or a divorce, whether it is by causing infidelity or providing evidence that one party is not fit to have custody of a child. However, some people are beginning to see the benefits that come with using social media whilst going through a divorce.
One simple way social media can aid in the divorce process is by providing a way to find various resources and services. You can use social media to look up information on how to handle custody or divorce in general, or even to look up a trusted attorney.
Virginia L Colin, Ph.D., a certified professional family mediator has stated that social media can be used to "find information about matters such as spousal support (alimony), how to tell the kids (you are getting divorced), whether retirement accounts are marital assets in their state," and so forth.
Five Common Mistakes before Filing for Divorce
Divorce is a whirlwind of emotions. These emotions can occasionally cause those involved to act emotionally rather than rationally. It is an important event in your life so avoiding mistakes is essential. Learn from others to avoid these common errors that people make when thinking about divorce.
1. Not reviewing your relationship
When emotions run hot, it can be easy to let them cloud your decision making process, but try to focus long term. Do you still love your spouse? Do you still have a spark for your partner? Have they done something to you that you can't forgive and forget? No one should be forced to settle, but make sure you take enough time to know what you want before you make a life changing decision.
Texas Child Support Collection Surpasses $3.5 Billion in FY 2013
The State of Texas had a record-breaking year with child support collection, topping out at $3.6 billion for fiscal year 2013 which ended on August 31. The Office of the Attorney General (OAG) of Texas reports that those benefits aided 900,000 Texas families. In 2012, the average amount of collections per Texas child support employee was $1.28 million.
More than $27 billion in child support payments has been collected since December 2002, when current Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott took office. According to the Texas OAG, their Child Support Division is number one in the country for child support collections, tripling the national average of 37 percent. Texas collections have exponentially increased over time.
"This success not only helps children all across the state, but it also ensures that parents – not the taxpayers – financially support their children," said Attorney General Abbott.
As a result of the record-breaking payments, 252,000 parents who formerly received Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) benefits were able to maintain financial stability without tapping public assistance stores. There was also a decline reported in the need for other programs such as food stamps and Medicaid.
Little-Known Divorce Clause Causes Heartache in Texas
A case earlier this year in Texas highlights a little-known immigration clause when it comes to divorce, according to Fox News. When Evangelina Zapata married Steve Summers, he signed an affidavit "vowing to support her so that she would not become a ‘public charge,'" Fox reports. Zapata was born in Mexico, and Summers needed to sign the affidavit as part of Zapata's quest for citizenship. The affidavit is formally known as Form I-864, published by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. According to NOLO, the affidavit is "a legally enforceable contract, meaning that either the government or the sponsored immigrant can take the sponsor to court if the sponsor fails to provide adequate support." NOLO states that the sponsor is responsible until the immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, or has "earned 40 work quarters credited toward Social Security [about 10 years of work], dies, or permanently leaves the United States."
New Study Reveals Warning Signs of Cheating Spouses
While infidelity is no longer a commonly cited reason for divorce, cheating can still ruin a marriage. Most spouses can tell that their relationship has changed without knowing that cheating is the reason. Some noticeable signs that your spouse is cheating include dressing better, not being intimate, and taking out new credit cards.
Another possible sign of a cheater is if they start being weird about their cell phone. Maybe your spouse will not leave their phone by you. Maybe they started to password protect their phone even though that was never a concern before. New technologies, like cell phones, have more damning evidence than the traditional lipstick on a collar.
A new study released by Albright College in Pennsylvania reveals another signal that your spouse is cheating. Associate professor of psychology, Susan Hughes, PHD, monitored the difference of phone calls between romantic interests compared to those between same-sex friends. The perceptible changes can be evidence that your spouse is cheating.
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