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Breaking the News About Your Divorce
In the midst of all the tumultuous emotions connected to divorce, there's also the anxiety about breaking the news of your divorce to family, friends, and members of the community who might need to know. At a bare minimum, without know how to broach this situation, you might find yourself in some awkward situations. Knowing how to prepare yourself for this process can help to reduce those nerves and ensure the highest possibility for success.
Author Constance Ahrons has identified several stages within the divorce process. The three stages at the outset of a divorce can be the most difficult to cope with, as there is a tremendous amount of change to manage. These three stages are the decision to divorce, the announcement of the divorce, and the actual separation itself.
When it comes time to tell family and friends about your decision, be prepared for the difficulty of this challenge. Unless your spouse was abusive or unusually cruel, there will be family members and friends who might be surprised by your decision and some may even want to argue over your choice. If you are able to, the best scenario is to sit down with your spouse and your family members to break the news together. You can work through what to say and come to an agreement on the presentation.
Modifying Child Custody Orders In Texas
Upon filing for divorce in Texas, either party can request the court to enter a temporary order governing a specific matter, such as child support, until the final divorce decree is given. These temporary orders give some sense of order for how visitation and custody will look in the short term and what parents can expect. These short term orders can include details on child support, spousal support, property division, and possession and access.
After final custody orders have been given, many parents hope to be able to modify their custody schedule at some point in the future. Moving forward with plans to change a child custody order should not be done without the assistance of an attorney.
Judges in Texas evaluate the individual situations of each family to determine what custodial situation is in the best interests of the child. It is possible, however, that the situation has changed over time, thus meaning that a new custodial order could truly represent the best interests of the child. There are several circumstances under which parents might modify custody, including the following:
How Much Kids Need To Know About the Split
Keeping kids sane during a divorce—especially one that's particularly nasty—can be one of the greatest challenges for divorcing couples. There's no shortage of psychological writings and evidence that points to the fact that divorce can be bad for children, though recent reports state that if the marriage was particularly difficult it may actually be better for kids that their parents divorce.
An article reported by Scientific American earlier this year stated that "researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experienced serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults." Scientific American cites a Pennsylvania State University study that followed children of divorce "into later childhood, adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships." The study found that children of divorced parents had similar results to those from intact families, "suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well."
Prenups For Same Sex Couples
Although in many ways, the legal impact of same-sex marriage and same-sex divorce are relatively new to the field, a growing area of interest involves whether same-sex couples need prenuptial agreements. Many of the new couples moving toward marriage in the multiple states across the country that now allow same-sex marriage already have established financial assets. Even if these couples have been living together for a long time, the consideration of whether a prenuptial agreement may apply is a worthy discussion to have with an attorney.
Simply put, it's likely that one or both individuals involved in the upcoming union has accumulated some assets over the course of their life. Entering into a marriage is an excellent opportunity to discuss their financial standing and determine whether prenuptial agreement could help to outline the guidelines for their union. Unfortunately, same-sex marriages will not be immune from divorce, and proper planning can go a long way towards reducing agony and financial instability down the line.
Texas Annulment Rules
Often, the question of how a divorce differs from an annulment arises. Put simply, a divorce is a legal process that results in the marital bonds being severed. An annulment, on the other hand, is a legal process that results in the marriage being invalidated, as though it never existed in the eyes of the law.
In today's society, divorces are by far the more common method of terminating a marriage. With divorce, however, there is a presumption that the marriage was valid and any assets acquired during the marriage belong to the marital estate, which means that the judge will divide the assets equitably between the parties
If the judge grants an annulment, however, the marriage was not valid from the beginning, which means that there never was a marital estate, and the parties may get to keep their respective assets.
Another purpose of marriage annulment is to make up for mistakes that underage children make by allowing parents, guardians and friends to file for an annulment when the person getting married is under 18 years old and there was no valid parental consent or court order.
Growing Up With More Siblings Reduces Divorce Risk
A new study has found that those individuals with more brothers and sisters are less likely to divorce when compared with children who have only one or two siblings. The research explores whether the number of siblings a child has influences their likelihood of divorce in adulthood.
The results of the study are certainly an advertisement for larger families that create adults who are less likely to obtain a divorce. The research found that each additional sibling (with a cap of seven) cuts down a person's likelihood of obtaining a divorce attorney in the future by approximately 2%. The information was collected from the information regarding 57,061 adults in the General Social Survey, and this information was collected between 1972 and 2012.
Ohio State University sociologist Doug Downey is a co-author of the study. He points out that his research team has been successful in finding other determining factors that influence divorce to a more significant level, but that the impact of number of siblings is important and an expected result. The research is being presented at the American Sociological Association meeting currently behind held in New York City.
What Not to Say When Talking to Your Children About Divorce
Going through a divorce is a hard enough thing to do on its own, throw children into the mix and it can become an extremely stressful situation. Many people give advice on what to say to your kids when telling them about your divorce, "I will always love you", etc. However, not many people know what you should not say when breaking the news to your children.
Don't share too many details
Remember that your children are in fact children. They do not need to be let in on the dramatic details and reasons for your divorce. In many cases, kids will ask questions about what caused it. If the questions become too much, you can always tell them that some of the reasons are "adult in nature." Try to answer their questions without divulging too much information.
Do not expect your child to take sides
While it may feel good to surround yourself with people who support you and your decisions during your divorce, your children do not need to play this role. Your friends and adult family members can support you; your children should not need to worry about this. Even if your divorce is not completely amicable, remember your kids still have a relationship with your ex. No matter how you feel on a personal level about him or her, you still need to acknowledge that your child will have a relationship with them.
Maintaining Financial Solvency Through Divorce
The cost of divorce doesn't always just refer to the price tag for an attorney's services. Especially for marriages in which one spouse was the primary earner, the process of sorting out the financials is difficult and sometimes complicated. Oftentimes women get stuck with a financial burden that's too much to bear. Knowing what to do before a divorce is essential for either spouse, but it's especially important that the non-primary earner take steps before a divorce to maintain financial solvency after the split. According to WIFE.org, "divorce is the largest single financial transaction of most people's lives." Important first steps include canceling all joint accounts and opening private accounts that your spouse doesn't have access to. In the same vein, before you separate (especially if the divorce is your idea, it's not necessarily slated to be amicable, and you're not the primary earner) WIFE.org suggests to "use joint funds to repair your automobile and home, buy clothes for yourself and your children, and other family expenses." Starting off the split with joint expenses paid will save arguments down the line as to who should be responsible for paying them. 
Mismatched Sex Lives Lead to Divorce
There are several reasons to get divorced. There are money issues, varying degrees of interest in starting a family, arguments about lifestyles and social events, and differences regarding where to live and what expectations are of a spouse. And yet there's one disagreement in which it's more difficult to find compromise than the rest—regarding each other's sexual preferences. According to Psychology Today, if "two people in a monogamous relationship are not in agreement on sexual matters—when to have it, where to have it, or how to have it—there is rarely a satisfactory compromise," unlike other arguments that can often be resolved with a little give and take on both sides. 
Isadora Alman, writing for Psychology Today, says that at least to her, the obvious solution would seem to be to advise the members of the disagreeing couple to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere, rather than trying to change something so deeply engrained. However, simple as this solution may seem on paper, "sadly, this is not a solution that works for many, if any," she says. While "a preference for a certain amount of sex at certain times and in particular ways can be modified by an act of will—sometimes," according to Alman, sometimes people in disparate relationships such as this need to seek what they crave elsewhere—even if they decide to remain monogamous. A need to be touched, for example, can be soothed by children, an affectionate pet, or massages. "One's partner does not have to satisfy all the person's emotional needs nor does sex have to carry the total burden of their expression," according to Alman.
Gay Marriage Overcomes Another Obstacle
On June 26, 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a ruling that effectively abolished the Defense of Marriage Act ("DOMA") that president Bill Clinton signed into law in 1996. Although President Clinton stated that DOMA would have a limited impact, it became a major headache for gay couples who were denied benefits available to heterosexual couples. It was only a matter of time until someone would challenge this type of blatant government-sponsored sexual discrimination.
The case in front of the Supreme Court involved two women who lived together for nearly four decades. After getting married in Canada, they moved to New York, were they lived happily married until one spouse passed away. The issue became whether federal inheritance tax exemption would exempt the inheritance left to the surviving spouse as it would in a so-called traditional marriage. The Obama administration agreed that the gay couple should be treated in the same way as a heterosexual couple would in the same situation. Although the Obama administration agreed to refund the tax, it still asked the Supreme Court for a definite ruling on the matter. In a crucial fifth vote, Justice Kennedy sided with the Court's liberal group to hold that the DOMA-mandated discrimination was unconstitutional.
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